Daniel Levy will use his strong relationship with Spanish giant Real Madrid to sign Rodrygo? Sure.

Friends, I’ve missed you all.

I woke up this morning to a glorious tweet that was sitting in the Carty Free writer’s room. It’s a tweet so beautiful and so hilarious, Dustin had to restore my writing privileges so I could make fun of it.

The good people over at Football Insider on the site formerly known as Twitter claim that Daniel Levy is planning to beat every other big club to the punch by signing Rodrygo. Normally I would say I wish I was making this up, but the tweet is just... chef’s kiss

Tottenham Hotspur are ready to attempts from the likes of Arsenal and Liverpool to sign Real Madrid ace Rodrygo, according to Spanish outlet AS.

Daniel Levy believes he can get the Brazilian for less than £78million by capitalising on his strong relationship with… pic.twitter.com/m8EUExztCW — Football Insider (@footyinsider247) July 23, 2025

Semi-related; whoever does the photoshops over at Football Insider needs to take a class because that kit looks terrible.

Anyway, I’m not sure I can put together a more amazing sentence than what they have in that tweet.

The tweet is stemming from an article that was posted yesterday by our old Bat Country merchants from years past, AS. While they’ll occasionally have some juicy news that actually sticks to the wall, this is completely off the rails. In typical Bat Country fashion, the article says absolutely nothing.

Where there’s room for two, there’s room for three. And if three fit, there’s room for four too. As the transfer window ticks down, Rodrygo Goes (Osasco, São Paulo, Brazil; 2001) has more suitors. As AS previously reported , Liverpool and Bayern Munich have entered the race for the Brazilian in practically interrelated deals. From London, and in addition to the (cold) interest from Arsenal and Chelsea , Tottenham wants to capitalize on the situation.

This is the hard-hitting journalism we strive to cover.

Wait, there’s more you say? Oh, maybe it’s not Bat Country after all!

After winning the Europa League almost two months ago, Spurs are looking to make a statement this transfer window . Thomas Frank took over the reins of the project following the dismissal of Ange Postecoglou. The Dane was promised one thing: “ investment and more investment .”

Okay, so basically you pulled a random quote from when Thomas Frank was hired and somehow manifested this into Tottenham are going to sign a wantaway Real Madrid player? Oh but we’ve already spent a lot, pending the completion of a sale for Morgan Gibbs-White once their owner stops throwing a tantrum. That has to be considered!

For now, they’ve already signed Mohammed Kudus (West Ham, €63 million), Morgan Gibbs-White (Nottingham Forest, €70 million), and exercised the purchase options on Mathys Tel (Bayern Munich, €35 million) and Kevin Danso (Lens, €25 million). In total, a net outlay of almost €200 million, in which they will try to include Rodrygo. Of course, they won’t go crazy. Given the good relationship between the two institutions, Daniel Levy will try to lower the Brazilian’s price to below €90 million.

Ah yes, through the power of friendship, Daniel Levy will convince Real Madrid to sell him for roughly £78 million. This is a real thing that is actually happening and we can take it to the bank.

Alright, snark aside, let’s actually break this down because Spurs are not signing Rodrygo.

The reports that come from actual journalists are that Rodrygo is currently making 200k/week net. If he’s going to leave Real Madrid, that number will go higher. His camp apparently wants to double that, but I’m not sure I believe that’s correct. There were more concrete reports that I cannot find now which suggested that the number was around 300k/week net, so he’s looking for a 50% increase on his wages to leave Madrid. That sounds more realistic, but it also limits the clubs that can afford him down to a very small number.

The bottom line is this: Spurs aren’t in this. This is 100% agent yapping to stir things up and if Madrid decide to cut him loose, I’d imagine we’ll see PSG, Liverpool and Bayern, get involved in an actual race for his signature.

Or, maybe I’m wrong, and Daniel Levy acquired the Heart Ring from Ma-Ti and became a Planeteer.

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